The Bus

Sometimes I am still home in the morning when Aaron's bus comes. Getting him on is always filled with such mixed emotions. You would think by now it would be routine. It is so not. My heart is in my stomach as I watch such a little person climb up the yellow school bus. The steps are so steep. I know these steps were not meant for such a young child. I watch him get all strapped in. I know he is off for such a long day. It will be 8 hours before the bus brings him home. I am filled with pride. He works so very hard for every little accomplishment. I am filled with guilt. Am I stealing his childhood? I am filled with with resentment. Why does he have to be such a big boy? I am filled with gratitude. His team of teachers is amazing. I owe them so much. It really only takes a minute to get him on the bus. Still, every time I do I am blown away by the act of sending him off into the big world. I do not know if it will ever be routine.